yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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