They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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