I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
well you can't waste a boner
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
