Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
