Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
