Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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