oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
