he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize