Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
