This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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