I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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