Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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