good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Randomize
