I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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