So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
soo... how was my night?
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