I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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