He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
