Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
i've created a new STD.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
