Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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