Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I see more hoeing in ur future
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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