I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
worst night to have a conscience
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Randomize
