do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
