I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
