Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
