This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
