that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
