Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Randomize
