I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Randomize
