How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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