Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Randomize