honey bunches of taint.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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