Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
