yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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