you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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