It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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