Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
