Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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