Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
