M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
