mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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