WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
