plz talk dirty to me
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
