I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
