if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
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