his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
