Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
