I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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