oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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