He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
