remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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