i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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