so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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