You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize