If i come over, it means nothing
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
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