Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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