i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
