i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
