the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
