I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
