You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
