My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
