we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
