She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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