I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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