How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm too high and old for this...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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