Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
