did you get engaged???
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
