But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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